even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!