I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone