the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.