I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
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It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.