im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.