The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize