Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
