do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
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Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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