I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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