Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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