I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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