Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
