We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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