Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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