Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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