how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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