Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
