Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
