This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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