Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
