please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
