A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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