Do you still have your period?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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