i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
