We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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