I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
