remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You can't special order awesome
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
