i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
