took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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