Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
