just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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