hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
