I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
