My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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