is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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