I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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