I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's rum buckets o'clock
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize