great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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