then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
