Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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