'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
