I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
