it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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