Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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