My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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