Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
