I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Houston, we have a squirter
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize