I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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