Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
