Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
