This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize