Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
