So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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