YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
