he puts the penis in happiness.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Bring me that man meat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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