I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no, he came in my armpit
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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