Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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