I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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