I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
